The winters are usually my highest production time in the studio, because the Northwest can get pretty cold, and the days are short. The winter of 88/89 was highly productive, because come the spring, I had no place to live. The ranch I had lived on, had been sold, and I was housesitting just until the spring, at which point I had no idea where I'd be living. It was the closest I have ever come to being homeless! And running on this unknown factor, I painted almost around the clock, often still painting as the sun rose in the morning! That winter I created about 60 original pieces, including most of my water lilies. I figured if that was going to happen, then I had better get all these studio piece done, because I could still survive working out of my van, doing plein air paintings around the country.
This piece was created early in '96. A few weeks later my Dad had open heart surgery. And came thru with flying colors. But then in May, we lost him, any way. He was in a coma for over a week, and the last 3 days we were blessed to have him home, instead of the hospital. I noticed that as soon as he left the hospital, his left eye was always open, ever so slightly, from morning until we went to bed...when it was closed as tight as his right eye. Often during those 3 days, as I spoke to him, he would move his mouth, or twitch his left eye, each time I said to him: "Dad, you are so stubborn." No it was not a "coincidence" (unless your definition is a "miracle") Seven times I said that to him, and seven times, he twitched his eye! A year later, I realized he was trying to wink: "Yes, I'm stubbborn!"
Well, when I returned home this painting haunted me. I finally realized it was all about my Dad! His physical body was in total view to us, just as the woman with the black scarf...but like her, he could not look at us with his physical eyes. ONLY WITH THE EYES OF HIS SOUL, like the woman with the red umbrella, he looked out at us, from behind his body...and actually made his body move (which the doctors said he would never do again) many times in those last days. And so, I dedicated this piece to him, and those special days we spent together.
They said he was unconscious
But he and I knew better
For three Miraculous Days
We spoke...Beyond Words.
And then he left
On his journey Home.
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All Text and Images Copyright Betty Jean Billups. All Rights Reserved.
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